![]() ![]() His dark raven hair had stuck to head sweat "Celia what are you doing awake?" my father had whispered peeking one of his eyes open. He turned his body away from my mother's to face me. My father had let out a slight groan once my tiny hands had shaken his body multiple times. The teddy bear dragged against the floor as I made my way to my parents' bed. I grew up as the person my mother had despised the most. They say a mother's love for her child is endless never ending, unconditional. ![]() Anyone looking at the photo could see how much love was displayed in her eyes. Her face looked straight into the camera. I laid on her chest letting out a high pitch scream. My mother's finger lightly brushed dark strains of hair out of my face. July 3rd 2004 3:25am was written in dark ink on the back of the photo. The only photo I had with my mother was locked in the basement. Out of all of photos none were of me and my mother. Photos of me and my father were placed on the dresser and night stand. My dark brown eyes had shined from the moonlight's reflection through the window.Ī 64-inch tv was mounted above the wall facing the bed. "daddy" my parents had a black metal bed-frame that stood up high from the floor. Long black raven hair hung over my shoulders as my feet dragged to my parents' bedroom. The same child who had awaken her father because she was too scared to sleep. I was still that little girl who had clung on her teddy bear. I was eighteen but felt as if I was eight. The seed that never grew but laid doormat in the dark. The seed would never sprout to see sunlight. Never blossoming, surrounded by endless darkness. I was the rotten seed planted in the ground. I was surrounded by the darkness in the bedroom staring back at me. The water would reach above my face blocking my airways.īut once I had opened my eyes the water was gone. The ditch had holes formed all around it allowing water to get in. Crushed in a small tight place that had always left me claustrophobic. The ditch was small leaving nowhere to run. For the first time I had allowed the terrors from my dreams to drown me. No one was there to guide me out of my own darkness. The purpose to move forwards was gone stolen from me. My eyes were filled with sand and my feet were sinking. The sand had stolen my vision blinding myself from reality. I was a sandstorm blocking my own vision from going forwards without a hand guiding me. I wasn't sad or angry I was numb and lost. I could feel the tip of the blade pushing deeper into my chest. The knifes were invisible but somewhere deep within myself I could feel them. Knifes were placed all around my chest surrounding my heart. The pain was consuming but the wound would never heal.Time could past but the wound would still feel fresh the bleeding would never As if someone had taken a knife and wedged it deep into my chest. A new seed is planted, and the process happens all over again.īut the only thing that had remained was an empty hole in middle of my chest a gash close to my heart. Thin and fragile falling on the ground to be swept away somewhere until it vanishes never to be seen again. One by one the red petals have blacked losing all of its pigmentation. Death is the final transformation of life. Time passes slowly, each day going by faster than the next and then death had approached. A beautiful rose with bright red petals and prickly thorns has form. Then one day the flower has reached its full peak. Raising from the ground growing each day as time passes. Each petal slowly sprouting from its roots. It all ends the same death was the final stage of life. Something unavoidable no matter how many times the scene would play out. ![]() "Your father passed away" those words rung in my head over and over.
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